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Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Is there a need to nose around after ‘THE END’?

Among the many odd things that usually take place in a local workplace there is still a certain kind of behavior that really makes me wonder why people waste all their energy and time nosing around closed books. Is it because they cannot accept that a certain chapter of their working life is over eh?


What I am talking about is how ex employees adore, I mean just love to nose into the affairs of their old workplace and enjoy hearing how bad news-could be that the organisation is not doing well in terms of business, less profits, loss of customers and these nosy employees will not bat an eyelid to connect this downfall into their absence. Nobody is indispensable, Why people think that they are, is because they are glued to the work and love all the dependency created by the output of the job. If some other employee does the same job in a more efficient manner that is enough to drive them to the extreme end of jealousy all because they find it so hard to accept change. It’s also because these ex employees will not accept that if there was an era where they were in demand that era no longer exists.

There is a simple logic to the demise of your stay in a workplace and that is the stinking feeling of not being appreciated, rewarded or recognized for your efforts. But you hang on hoping for a ray of light to flicker through a long dark tunnel. It never seems to get better with more destructive incidents only to prove that time’s up for you to move on. When this feeling sets in it's best to get out of the door as fast as you can. Lingering on will only bring more misery.

I can vouch for this insanity because I have been a victim of different kinds of discriminative behavior leading from being left out for the company group picture because I didn’t qualify in the ‘looks’ department ( I actually overheard this very cattily being remarked- can you imagine how I felt ?) Being check mated over a virgin dumb woman who had no clue about anything except enticing all the men in the workplace with her low neckline and super tight dresses and molly cuddled for being the pretty dumb gander, (ugh disgusting I can tell you) Passed over for promotion because the boss’s inner club members could not except an employee from a minority ethnicity going up the ladder (So it was my fault for not being born in the majority ethnicity), rewards given but taken back on the grounds that rewarding my work was a mistake (hang in there, till I compile a book of all the madness that I went through)..Somehow at some point you draw the line to all the insanity that eats into you and then your decision to walk out either surprises them or delights them. I bet they secretly wonder if you could find another job (because you just hung on no matter what..and you also didn't have good looks to keep them happy)

Whatever it is whenever I decide to close books with a nut house and move on, I totally abstain from nosing around the affairs of the business. In my mind if there was a chapter in my life that dealt with the nut house I have shut the door and decided to move on.  If I am to bump into any of my ex colleagues I would deliberately limit the conversation to general well being, family and so-so kind of topics in order to avoid talking about what went wrong, what could have been better, that numerous what if’s..Maybe share the silly memories of the good times if there were any.

Just this morning I was greeted by an ex colleague over the phone who I sensed had a different intention of calling me up. The conversation went something like :


He: hi, so, so how are you doing?

Me: OK
He: So what are you doing?
Me: nothing


some silence


He: Rattles on with the new developments in the ex workplace and asks me if any of the big wigs have been calling me
Me: Is there a purpose for them to call me? I also do not expect them to call me
He: You know X is doing very well and she is now in charge of everything
Me: Good for her, every dog must have its day, she’s having hers. (Why do I need to know this?)
He:You know I am writing this letter to the authorities to let them know about the discrepancies and all the other concerns. If I write and send the letter to you can you check? (oh here we are..so this is why you actually called you downcast dog?)
Me: Trying to remain calm, inspite of rising irritation at this totally jobless jerk, I tell him I am out of Colombo and I have sold the computer, Without a job I need money to survive. I do not like to depend from others to help me out, I try and find my own solutions. (will I ever sell my computer? maybe someday if and when I get really tight on money, but not right now)


surprise..silence and some verbal nodding


He: OK then I will keep..keep in touch
Me: OK Bye (It’s better if you do not)


Some days ago I was greeted by two of my ex colleagues and the two phone conversations which were in Sinhala went something like:



Conversation No. 2


He:Hello how are you miss?
Me: OK
He:What are you doing now? (talking to you)
Me:Nothing
He:Are you working?
Me:No


surprised…silence..


He: Blabs on and on about how things could have been better and I decide to cut him short..


Me:What happened to the van that you used to hire from A to B locations? You must have made quite a killing while you were there? Are you grieving because you are not able to continue doing this?


stunned silence..I guess he never expected me to know his secret spare business revenues


He: quickly changing the topic, Have you had any news from Y,Z, W, ?
Me: No, you assisted in kicking them out of their jobs, obviously they left not with a good mindset and how can you now have the nerve to ask how they are doing?
He: Strong denial, to which I cut him off..and switches to a different topic now You know I am writing a proposal, Can you check on the accuracy of English?


Me: There is no free lunch in this world, I now charge for any work I do.


He: Trying to entice me into doing it free on the grounds of old colleague friendship.(I never considered this moron a friend to begin with)


Me: Putting both my feet down, and firmly .. I do not work for free. I think you have enough money to pay with all the money you made from hiring your van


He: somewhat taken back, then I will keep, Let’s talk sometime, please give me your email id


Me: OK Bye (I never gave my email id to the pariah, nor did the dog call me after that)

Conversation No. 3


He:How are you miss?
Me:OK (standard answer for morons)
He:Blabs on about all the mishaps in the ex workplace, I cut him short
Me: What has happened is done and over, you cannot reverse that can you ? I am sure you have gained a lot of experience in terms of work and otherwise, I think you need to see how those can be used to generate an income for yourself and move on.
He: Continues with the same tape, I cut him once more
Me: You had worked there all your life, You got a big fat compensation package when you were laid off is there anything else for you to be grieving about?


silence…


He: Changes the topic, So how are you miss? what are you upto these days?
Me: Nothing just living
He: Are you working?
Me: No
He: It must be difficult to meet the usual costs?
Me: There is nothing unusual in that isn’t it?
He:Yes and then rattles on with the rising costs..
Me:I am sure your compensation package can patch upto whatever that is an extra cost eh ?
He: silly giggle, eheh eheh ...yes but..and more rattling
Me: Your giggle explains it all so why do you crib?
He:Yes but we need a job as well no miss
Me: You have to accept the fact your job died a tragic death a long time ago
He: Yes that's the thing...it is so difficult..
Me: Weren't you the people who preached to the community to live with the available resources? Why are you not practising it now? Do you now understand the kind of rubbish you have been preaching to those poor people when nothing of its realistically practiceable?
He:silence...I will keep, and be in contact later
Me: OK bye



To me it was so disgusting to realize that some can actually be so jobless to be wasting all his time and energy towards stuff that didn't seem worthwhile to be running after, or still be blabbing about a by-gone era.

I have to admit each time when I experienced a certain incident at the workplace that really brought me down to the last depressive level I felt so lost, irritated and frustrated that nothing could be done to change the situation except just live with the madness. But when I make the decision to walk out of all the insanity everything in that place becomes history to me except the true friendships I built and the relationships I established with different kinds of folk. Carrying the dirty linen accumulated during the time spent, will only hamper the mapping out of my next stop over and why must I waste my energy to do just that? I could be better off putting in all of that energy into figuring out where and what I should be doing next.

Can there be a continuance after ‘The End’ ? eh ???  They never get it.




Friday, May 04, 2012

dried up wells, job insecurity and looking for new cheese

Indeed this is the age of Kali or Kali Yuga an era where everything that just doesn’t seem right reigns. I am not saying this because I am paddling hard under water to be able to float in the sea of life. My measly freelance income is enough to sort out the basics but when I am dealing with house hunting and countless other things that is refusing to get off my shoulder, I am aggressively looking out for a more stable source of income despite the fact that stability, security in employment is a thing of the past.
During my hunt I have met so many interesting personalities, some who ended up landing on my social networking sites the others mere contacts. To me personally this time has also been a time to reflect on the future of my work, what I should be doing and what I should not be doing. In my long walks of house hunting I have learnt a lesson or two trying to understand how people really struggle to make ends meet renting out whatever built up space, rooms and why it was so important to own a house in this nutty island of ours. In the process how potential landlords plan to grow money trees by asking for an years deposit of rental. Just imagine if the rentals are going at Rs. 15,000 and one years of that would be               Rs. 180,000. Dump it in a Term Deposit where interest rates are higher there is something extra to look forward to. Not bad I tell you at the expense of a tenant’s hard earned money eh? This means I need to earn enough to be able put aside some money towards a housing deposit, rental apart from trying to meet my basics.
Some of these houses or rented up areas are really not fit for humans or even mice to live. The bathrooms are a nightmare, the kitchen is a suffocated area of purgatory while the rooms are just enough to walk in and walk out. If there was any house that seemed like decent it was beyond my affordability.
As for the job hunt, I do not know whether to chuckle or weep at the job advertisements that appear in the local dailies. There is a stringent age limit for applicants which clearly state over 30’s are not wanted. I may have to be born again to be able to qualify for that age limit. The second bracket of eligibility lifts the age limit to 35. The larger quantum of the adverts call for school leavers with some specifying the age limit from 20-25 BUT asking for ‘the’ best of skills and qualifications. Some even want a picture of the candidate (why?)
Seriously how does one come to the conclusion that someone in their 20’s with limited work experience can have the best of skills and qualifications? Then comes the most important thing to talk about – the cheque or the envelope stuffed with a couple of notes at the end of the month that we all safely tuck in to our wallets. I have sat across several men and women at the peak of their career first eloquently spilling out their ideal candidate and then sheepishly undervaluing the position, skills and the qualifications that go in to the kind of work expected.
As I am reflecting on the absurdities of this ‘squeezing’ experienced in the profit and non-profit sectors (I will come to that later on) both, my phone beeps. The price of a 12.5 gas cylinder will be increased by Rs. 350 at midnight today and a 400g pack of milk powder by Rs. 63 while a 1Kilo pack by Rs. 160.  I can now picture all the clucking that will take place when this is aired on news tonight.
Having been a pious worker in the corporate sector cost cutting was always on the cards. It was nothing new but it seems now the ‘squeezing’ is more severe. My existence in the non-profit sector was deemed on the continuity of funding. Scaling down, retrenching, lay off’s, resizing, restructuring became a common trend among these charities from which the funds poured in were drying up.  It is only then the good times were often reflected, good times where frighteningly alarming levels of wastage in these non-profits were so obvious.  Personally I’ve never been to any of the fancy hotels that so many of the meetings were held all in the name of development and social change. The money spent on breakfast, tiffin, lunch and tea if all put together could have been put towards real social change. Before I became an older pupil at these charities it was quite something to fathom, something that I can never agree even to this day. Days would be spent simply greeting, meeting, talking and eating followed by several power point presentations and plain fibbing talk. A lot of talk but no doing and all the while I would be muttering inside my mind (cut the bullshitting and get down to some real work).  
Before the deadly tsunami wave struck it was a case of managing with whatever that was available. A charity was something that an average layman saw as just plain and ordinary. But the tsunami changed the mindset of the average 9-5 worker when millions of donor funding poured into these charities’ bank accounts. People from all layers of supervision got terribly greedy and wanted to cash in the sudden bundles of money.  Whatever that was done in the name of disaster relief needs to be closely assessed as how much of quality and value has the actual victim received is still a mystery.  The mushrooming of non profits in the country was inevitable and everyone who could cash in on the sudden outpouring of funds did make a killing. Christmas continued…without a single effort or initiative being taken to sustain the extra funding for rainy days !
Good times don’t last and so it was with these lavishly spending charities. The global recession crept, Many countries in Europe who were considered unshakable collapsed and found it hard to continue the generous funding. Suddenly the ‘squeezing’ culture crept into these charities. Single trips were transformed to car pool kind of transportation or KISS movements. Per-diems were reduced amidst a lot of howling. Office spaces were made to fit in maximum to save on electricity. Smaller office areas were being considered. Cost cutting became an important agenda at different forums. Clearly there was no planning or preparation in times of crisis or in the words of these charities there was no contingency planning.  With less funds, sustaining jobs, positions became a game of chess. Each was trying to outdo the other and prove that there was no necessity to have the position. Social change and Development was flung into the trash can The challenge with each was how best do I retain my job while deriving the maximum benefit with whatever that was available. .. It turned out to be a dog-eat-dog style of office management.
As I reflect on the what if’s and could have moments, these are one of the wake me up moments where bricks fall on one’s head. It is a time to take a closer look at where they have gone wrong. It is insanity to go looking for cheese in the same dungeons knowing the scarcity or non existence.
The bigger players in the non-profit sector as well as their local partner organisations are really wrestling having to deal with less funding and no promise of new funds coming their way, unable to attract skilled employees because of their inability to pay what is deemed as acceptable for the kind of skills the position calls for. Until now there has never been any effort or initiative to raise funds in one’s own country.  The locals are similar to apes good at stretching their hands to the Caucasians. Yes why of course when this country has become a dumping ground for everything from apples, reconditioned cars, cheap branded used electronics, tinned vegetables, fruit (do we really need them?) toothpaste, onions, lentils, and now even tea.
There are millions of locals scattered across the globe with many wanting to give back something to their own country. Why not take the step to make these ex Sri Lankans more conscious about creating change in their own land?  There are so many who are doing great for themselves and would be more than happy to be a part of making even a small change.
Within this nutty island of ours taking a count of 21 million people, if we put aside 1 million – children, 1 million – old age, 1 million – differently abled, 1 million-unemployed, 1 million-displaced, 1 million-beggars, and another 4 million for all the drug addicts, prisoners, conmen etc., etc.,  leaves 11 million. If we aim for just one Rupee per person even if we eventually end up with 1 million only contributing, Think about the difference One Million Rupees can bring ?  Maybe the bigger charities will scoff at me but I’d like to call that a ‘Rupee Revolution’